As previously Night Air is a kind of sequel to Night Shift and was certainly the earlier of the two plays wrote if my memory is correct, and does have a few Harold Pinter references in it.
There are two incomplete plays to follow in this series.
(LOCATION – COLONEL’S QUARTERS
THE COLONEL, A MAN IN HIS EARLY 50’S IS
SAT A TABLE READING A PIECE OF PAPER.
HE IS ALSO HOLDING A PENCIL AND IS USING
THE PENCIL TO UNDERLINE CERTAIN THINGS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Colonel:
Yes
(SOLDIER STEPS IN)
Colonel:
Yes
(SOLDIER HANDS HIM A PIECE OF PAPER)
Colonel:
Fucking Hell..
(SOLDIER STEPS BACKWARDS)
Soldier:
You asked for the prisoner to be bought to you.
Colonel:
Did I?
Soldier:
Sir..
Colonel (Interrupts him):
It doesn’t matter if I asked you to bring him to me.
Can’t you see I’m busy? I’ve just got all of these reports
To sort out.. Just bring him in..
(SOLDIER BRINGS MICKEY IN, A FRAIL LOOKING MUCH YOUNGER MAN)
Colonel:
Sit
(MICKEY SITS)
Colonel:
Name.
Mickey:
You know my name.
Colonel: (Raises voice)
Name.
Mickey:
You know my name.
Colonel (Raises voice again):
I’m not going to ask you again, NAME.
Mikey:
Stone
Colonel:
First Name..
Mickey:
Mickey, Mickey Stone..
Colonel:
Thank you, Michael.
(REACHES INSIDE HIS POCKET)
Cigarette?
Mikey:
I don’t smoke.
Colonel:
Mind if I smoke?
Mikey:
Yes
(COLONEL LIGHTS HIS CIGERETTE)
Colonel:
Do you want a drink?
Mikey:
I don’t drink.
Colonel:
Are you sure you don’t want a drink?
Mikey:
Yes.
Colonel:
You don’t mind if I have a Drink, do you?
Mikey:
Yes.
(THE COLONEL OPENS UP A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY
POURS HIMSELF A GLASS THEN MIKEY)
Colonel:
Drink it.
Mikey:
I don’t drink.
Colonel:
Drink it.
Mikey:
I don’t, I can’t.
Colonel:
Just drink the BLOODY thing.
It’s just one drink. It won’t
BLOODY kill you.
Mikey:
I can’t.
(THE COLONEL DRINKS HIS WHISKEY)
Colonel:
See? It won’t kill you. It’s just one drink.
(NO ANSWER)
I wouldn’t want you thinking I was an unreasonable and
Uncillivsationed man. Have a drink. It won’t kill you.
Mikey:
I, I….
Colonel:
You love your wife, don’t you?
Mikey:
What’s that got to do with this? She’s done nothing wrong.
Colonel:
True, true.
(PAUSE)
I’ve heard so much about you
(PAUSE)
You’ve a hero of our country
(PAUSE)
Are you sure I couldn’t persuade you to have a cigarette?
Mikey (Mumbled):
No
Colonel:
You’ve regarded as a legend around
Here, did you know?
(NO RESPONSE)
I can’t believe a intelligent man
Like yourself would let yourself
Do something so stupid.
(PAUSE)
You do love your wide, don’t you?
(PAUSE)
Pretty Woman
(PAUSE)
Nice tits.
Mikey:
My wife is innocent. I’ve told you I did it.
Colonel:
I’m just admiring her. Fine breasts. You do love her, don’t you?
(NO RESPOSNE)
And how about your children?
(ROOTING THROUGH SOME PAPERS)
Yes, how about your children?
Mikey:
We don’t have any children.
Colonel:
What about your children?
Mikey:
We don’t have any children.
Colonel:
What’s your name?
Mikey:
My name is…
Colonel (Overlapping):
SIR.
Mikey (Under breathe):
SIR.
Colonel:
What’s your middle name?
Mikey:
I don’t have a middle name.
Colonel:
Your middle name is Edward isn’t it?
(NO RESPONSE)
Your middle name is Edward,
Isn’t it – don’t make you ask
You again.
Mikey: (Mumbles):
Yes.
Colonel:
What was that?
Mikey:
Yes
Colonel:
Do you love your wife?
Mikey:
Yes.
Colonel:
That’s not what she told me last night.
(PAUSE)
Pretty Woman.
(PAUSE)
Fine legs.
(PAUSE)
She told me you hated her. You used to beat her when you
got drunk.
Mikey:
No, I don't.
Colonel:
Yes you did. You used to whip her. You used
To burn cigarettes on her arm,
Mikey:
I don’t smoke.
Colonel:
You used to punch her
In the mouth.
Mikey:
No, I didn’t.
Colonel:
Yes, you did. I have proof here. I have a statement from your wife
And also one from your brother before his accident. Just answer
The bloody question. I haven’t got all day to sit and play bloody
Games. Just answer the question – a simple yes or no will do.
Do you or did you hit your wife?
Mikey:
Yes.
Colonel:
Good. Now that’s better isn’t it? I’m only trying to help you out.
I can’t blame you for hitting your wife with a fine pair of legs like that.
If my wife looked like that, I’d be tempted to give the occasional
Slap too. Have that drink..
Mikey:
I can’t.
Colonel:
I wouldn’t want you thinking I was a unreasonable man.
(COLONEL PULLS OUT A CIGERETTE FROM HIS INSIDE POCKET
THEN LIGHTS IT)
Mikey:
I, I can’t.
Colonel (Cuts straight in):
Just take it. Let’s call it our little secret.
I won’t tell anybody if you don’t.
.
Mikey:
I can’t…. I’ve stopped.
Colonel (Holding out the Cigarette):
Just take it – you’ve earned it.
(MIKEYS SHIVERS AND TAKES IT HIS HAND
THEN PUTS ON THE TABLE)
Mikey:
I can’t.
Colonel:
Can’t, WHAT.
Mikey:
I’m not one of your Soldiers.
Colonel:
No, you’ve worse than that.
Mikey:
I’ve got rights.
Colonel:
Yes, but who is going to want to help you?
Who is going to want to help a pathetic little man
Like you? To think you were regarded as a hero
In the papers. Now look at you. If I clicked my fingers
And said to you ‘Lick my boots, Dog’ you would
Lick my boots until they were shiny brown or your
Tongue bloody well dropped off.
Mikey:
No, I wouldn’t.
Colonel:
Never say wouldn’t, WHAT?
Mikey:
Sir
Colonel:
See, a little manners never hurt anymore.
(THE COLONEL STUMBS OUT HIS CIGARETTE
AND STANDS UP AND WALKS OVER TO MIKEY.
MIKEY PULLS BACK EXPECTING A PUNCH OR WORSE,
BUT THE COLONEL SIMPLY GOES OVER TO HIM
AND THEN COMES BACK TO HIS CHAIR AND SITS
BACK DOWN)
I know you’re a intelligent man.
(PAUSE)
Mikey:
I’m not scared of you.
Colonel:
I haven’t done anything to hurt you, Mikey have I?
I just wanted to offer you a drink,
(PAUSE)
Now, anyhow about the children.
Mikey:
I don’t have any children.
Colonel:
I know you don’t have any children, Michael. You told
me that before don’t you remember?
Mikey
Yes.
Colonel:
I was going to tell you about my children.
(PAUSE)
Let me tell you, they are little monsters. They never listen
To anything anybody tells them.
(PAUSE)
Take after their mother
(PAUSE)
Little pricks
(PAUSE)
Now about your children?
Mikey:
We don’t have any children.
Colonel:
Who the FUCK is Nicky then?
Mickey:
He’s my brother’s son.
Colonel:
Ah, oh course Barry's.
Mikey:
You killed him.
Colonel:
Now that’s not a nice thing to say. I wouldn’t want you
Thinking I was an unreasonable man. Your brother was stupid…
He met an regrettable accident. You don’t want to join him,
Do you?
(PAUSE)
So Nicky’s your nephew? Are you sure he’s not
Your son?
Mikey (Mumbles):
Yes
(PAUSE)
Sir.
Colonel:
How long has he been living with you for?
Mikey:
Two years.
Colonel:
That would make sense
(SCRIBBLES IT DOWN)
Mikey:
I want to see my wife.
Colonel:
You can’t.
(PAUSE)
Maybe later.
(PAUSE)
She’s busy.
(PAUSE)
I do want to help you and your wife.
And little Nicky
(PAUSE)
But you’ve got to help me.
I do want to help you.
Mikey:
I want to see my wife.
Colonel:
She hates you, don’t you know?
(FLICKING THROUGH NOTEPAD)
In fact both of them do,
You know?
(FLICKING AGAIN)
What was it she said,
Last night? He’s a pathetic
Excuse for a human being.
Mikey:
No.
Colonel: (Still smiling):
I hate him. I hate him.
I hate him when he comes
Home from the pub.
I hate the way he smokes
Those cheap cigarettes.
Mikey:
I don’t believe you.
Colonel:
Up to you, it’s your old
Choice, old boy. I
Wouldn’t want you
Thinking I was a
Unreasonable man.
You do know she was
Having a affair, don’t
You?
(LOOKING THROUGH RECORDS)
But it’s in material.
Did you think a woman
That good looking
Would stay faithful
To you. God, you’ve
Pathetic.
Mikey:
I don’t believe you.
Colonel:
Do you want me
To tell you names
Of the hotels they used
To FUCK in when you
Were working for General
Fielding in the country.
No? I didn’t think so.
Do you want me to tell
You of all of those late
Nights she used to work at
That Factory, what really
Happened? No? I didn’t
Think so. I can’t blame
You.
Mikey
No
Colonel:
I couldn’t really care less
If you believe me or not,
Old boy. It is no skin off
My back if you listen to
Me or not.
Mikey:
What do you want from me?
Colonel:
And I won’t even
Start to tell you what
Nicky thought of you.
(PAUSE)
Little prick. I thought my
Children were bad enough
But that young man was
Unreasonable. I came close
To myself to..
Mikey:
What do you want from me?
Colonel:
Are you sure you don’t want
This? It is a excellent drink.
Mikey:
No.
Colonel:
Up to you, old boy.
It’s your choice, old boy.
I wouldn’t want you
Thinking I was a an
Unreasonable man.
With a wife like yours,
I would probably drink
Twice as much as what
You drink
(COLONEL FINISHES OFF HIS BOTTLE OF WINE)
Do you love your wife?
Mikey:
Yes, of course.
Colonel:
Even though she despises
Your every footstep. Get
Your head out of the clouds,
Man – let me ask you slowly
Do
(PAUSE)
you
(PAUSE)
love
(PAUSE)
Your
(PAUSE)
Wife?
Mikey:
No
Colonel:
No, what?
Mikey:
No, sir.
Colonel:
Do you want to still see your wife?
Mikey:
No.
Colonel:
Do you want to still see your wife?
Mikey:
No.
Colonel:
Do you want to still see your wife?
No?
(NO RESPONSE)
I thought so. I can’t blame you.
She said it was your fault.
You forced her into it.
You told her to lie for you.
Do you want me to carry on?
(NO RESPONSE)
I thought not.
Mikey:
I don’t believe you.
Colonel:
I’m not going to
Repeat myself
Again, old boy.
You may think
I enjoy sitting here
And talking to you
But I’m got a job
To do too.
I’ve got superiors
Who expect answers.
I’ve got superiors
Who would have had
You shot on the spot.
Mikey:
What do you want from me?
Colonel:
What do I want from you,
Old boy? What do I want?
(PASSES CIGRETTE)
Mikey:
No.
Colonel:
Yes, like I said before
One won’t kill you.
Mikey:
Yes, it will. I can’t….
Colonel:
Can’t what?
Mikey:
Sir.
Colonel:
Now about Nicky…
Mikey:
He’s innocent.
Colonel:
Innocent, WHAT.
Mikey:
He’s innocent, sir.
Colonel:
I’m not denying it,
Michael but you
Should teach him
Some manners.
Mikey:
He’s innocent.
(PAUSE)
Sir.
Colonel:
Like I said before
To you, old boy.
The language he came
Out with was coarse.
I would have whipped
My lads on principle
If they came out
With some of the words
He said.
(PAUSE)
It’s immaterial anyhow.
Mikey:
What do you mean?
Colonel:
It’s immaterial anyhow.
Mikey:
What do you mean?
Colonel:
But your wife…
(PAUSE)
She treated us with
Respect as soon as she
Arrived. There was no
Crying, no tandems
- no kicking of their
feet. When we asked
her to sign that piece
of paper, she grabbed
it almost literally from
my hands and “I’ll
be glad to get rid of
the little BASTARD.”
Mikey:
No.
(PAUSE)
Sir.
Colonel:
Just face it, Mikey.
Your family hates you.
It’s ironic really,
If you look at it,
All of the medals you’ve
Received and your
Family hates you.
I wonder what your
Brother would say if
He was still alive…
He would probably
Be stood behind me
And call you a
Spineless two
Faced son of
A….
(PAUSE)
It’s immaterial anyhow.
Did you know
He squealed like a pig
When we bought him
In here… It almost
Turned my stomach
When he actually
Pleaded with us
To kill him and put
Him out of his
Misery…. As if, I
Give you… As if..
(PAUSE)
Now I know you
Wouldn’t be anything
Like that Michael
Would you? I know
From your records
You are much more
Co-operative.
Mikey:
I did it.
Colonel:
Did what?
Mikey:
I did it.
Colonel:
No, you didn’t.
Mikey:
I want to confess.
Colonel:
You want to confess to what?
Mikey:
I did it. I pulled the bloody trigger.
Colonel:
What trigger? You have lost
me there old boy – You really have
lost me there. What the hell did
you think I have had you dragged
in for?
(PAUSE)
It’s immaterial anyhow now.
(PAUSE)
It’s immaterial.
Mikey:
What do you want from me?
Colonel:
You mean to tell me they
Haven’t told you?
(PAUSE)
I’ll tell you for nothing –
They are bloody useless
At HQ. I’ll tell you for
Nothing if I ran you for
Nothing – it would be
Ran differently. There
Would be none of this
Pussy footing around
When a man gets set free
He would be informed
In due course and not
Kept dangling.
Mikey:
You’re setting me free?
Colonel:
Why do you think I invited you in here,
Old boy? I just wanted to invite you in here for
A drink, one for the road just to say no hard feelings.
Mikey:
But what about my family?
(COLONEL WALKS AROUND
TO THE BACK OF MIKEY
AND WHISPERS)
Colonel:
If you agree to help the guard bury them
Next to your brother, you are can go free.
They were no where near as co-operative
As you.
(FADE TO BLACK)
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